Why Don't You Want to Pray?

Wisdom from the film Then She Found Me (2007)


Source

This is not an extraordinarily memorable film, but I do appreciate the following scene in particular. Beautiful exploration of one's relationship to - and distance from - God, especially in times of fear, anger, and frustration.

At the hospital, April (Helen Hunt) is preparing for in vitro fertilization. Her mother Bernice (Bette Midler) accompanies her. It has been established that April is a practicing Jew and Bernice is essentially agnostic.

Bernice [to April]: "Do you want to pray?" [to the medical staff, smiling] "She does that. She prays." [to April] "Want to say a little prayer or something?"

April [curtly]: "No."

Bernice [to the staff]: "I'm so sorry to interrupt..."

April: "What is the matter with you?"

Bernice [to the staff]: "Could you, uh, give us a minute?"

April: "Bernice! Listen to me. Right now."

Bernice: "I know, I'm sorry. Just a minute."

Doctor: "Just find us when you're ready. We'll be around." [Staff exit.]

April [to Bernice, annoyed]: "What?"

Bernice: "Why don't you want to pray?"

April: "What do you care?"

Bernice: "I don't. I don't give a s---. But you do. You told me that. You pray before you eat a bowl of spaghetti! And now, right before you do the most important thing you'll do in your life, suddenly you're not interested?"

April: "This is none of your business." [She walks across the room, but Bernice blocks her.] "Get out of my way."

Bernice: "Say a prayer with me and I will."

April: "I don't want to pray."

Bernice [gently]: "One stupid little prayer."

April: "No." [Bernice blocks her again.] "Move!"

Bernice: "Maybe you just don't want it enough."

April: "You have no idea how badly I want this."

Bernice: "Then why won't you pray? Why?"

April: "Because I'm not going to hand this wish over to some..." [pause] "...whatever it is - who's supposed to be loving. Who..." [silence, then whispers weakly] "I had faith in. I thought... God was... good."

Bernice [gently]: "Maybe God is..."

April: "What?"

Bernice: "Difficult. Awful. Complicated."

April: "Like me?" [pauses in full realization of a past error] "I took the one man on earth who's right for me and I dropped him on his head."

Bernice: "Right. You did."

Just before the procedure, April sings the Shema, a beautiful prayer in Hebrew, thus beginning a journey of reconciliation - with God, with others, and with herself.