(to the tune of "Build Me Up Buttercup" by the Foundations)
Why don't you drink the cup? (drink the cup)
Drink it up, baby
When you eat the bread (eat the bread) 'cause Jesus ain't dead
It's the bread of life (bread of life) and blood of Christ, baby
Does that freak you out? (freak you out)
No reason to shout
It's just juice (it's just juice) and some pita bread pieces
The wafers are all gluten-free
So drink the cup (drink the cup), drink it up
But save some for me
Read more.
I Am The Very Model Of An MDiv Seminarian
(to the tune of the "Major General Song" by Gilbert & Sullivan)
I am the very model of an MDiv seminarian
I've information Methodist, Catholic, Unitarian
I know the popes of Rome who have significance historical
From Gregory to Paul the Sixth, in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters homiletical
I preach the Word in such a way that's modern-day prophetical
Of Hebrew texts like Exodus I'm teeming with a lot of news
With many cheerful facts about the freedom of a lot of Jews
(to the tune of "Mahna-Mahna" performed by the Muppets)
Denominations!
(Denomina.)
We're Friends, or Quakers, (Denomina!) with quiet hope. (Denomina!)
We're Roman Catholics. We've got Mass, and missals, and as of '13 Francis is our Pope.
Read more.
Wesley's Quadrilateral
(to the tune of "What Makes You Beautiful" performed by One Direction)
You're insecure
Don't know the four
Items that make up a religious core
Why get caught up
In abstract stuff?
Simple geometry will be enough
Methodists got a good way to say it
Four little words will do
Read more.
If You Wanna Get Your M.Div, a song for Kirk
(to the tune of "Wannabe" performed by The Spice Girls)
Yo, I'll tell you about Kant, if you really, really want
Yeah, tell me about Kant, that's really what I want
I'll tell you about Kant, if you really, really want
Yeah, tell me about Kant, that's really what I want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna Div-a-Div ah
If you want a future about the past
If you want Divinity, better study fast
Now don't go wasting your precious time
Stop procrastinating, make your next outline
Read more.
I'm Not Gonna, an anthem for Amanda
(to the tune of "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles)
Heading to D-COM
Where you tell me
To breathe easy for awhile
But breathing gets harder
Even I know that
My ministry?
It's too soon to see
And my future's in your hands
(After the part I say what I need to)
Read more.
Rahab
(to the tune of "Rehab" performed by Amy Winehouse)
We hid out by the wall with Rahab; then she said, "Go, go, go!"
Jericho's sacked now that we came back, you know, know, know
We ain't got much time; we said her family would be fine
We've gotta go back to save Rahab 'cause she's no foe, foe, foe
Josh led our siege a brand new way
It only took seven days
Six for marching,
For marching 'round the city
And then we yelled 'til walls began to sway
Read more.
A Few of My Favorite Things
(to the tune of "My Favorite Things" performed by Julie Andrews)
Crisp spines on textbooks and fine marginalia
Matriculation and profs in regalia
History lectures on prophets and kings
These are a few of my favorite things!
Reading and writing and researching papers
Footnotes and endnotes and hoarding the staplers
Bibliographic citations that sing
These are a few of my favorite things!
Worship in chapel with good-humored preachers
Old bathroom sinks with nice new non-splash features...
Read more.
We Didn't Start the Fire: Church History Edition
(to the tune of the song by Billy Joel)
John Wycliffe, Jan Hus, Calvin, and Erasmus
Ulrich Zwingli, Luther's Theses, 1517
Johann Tetzel, humanism, Institutes of the Religion
Augsburg, Zurich, Marburg, Munster, Wittenberg's the scene
Menno Simons' Mennonites, T'resa's Discalced Carmelites
William Farel, Dentiere, England's Book of Common Prayer
Church of England splits off, Catholic Pope is ticked off
Edward's king at nine years old (he was Henry's male heir)
Read more.
The Religious Society of F·R·I·E·N·D·S
(to the tune of the "Friends" theme song)
So no one told you life was gonna be this way [four claps]
In fact it's true, no one said anything all day
But who needs speech when we've got God to hear?
Wait and listen for a day each week, each month of every year, 'cause...
There's a Light in you
(That you shouldn't ignore)
There's a Light in you
(The divine's at your core)
There's a Light in you
(And there's one in me too)...
Read more.
Whoa, We're Halfway There
(to the tune of "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi)
Tommy thinks outside of the box.
Procrastinatin' Mike is leaning on luck.
School's tough, so tough.
Gina's been here reading all day.
Poring over Kant, she cries and she prays
It'll stop, mmm, it'll stop.
She says we've got to hold on to what we know:
There's one term down now and one to go.
Read more.
I'm Dominican (The Thomas Aquinas Tango)
(to the tune of "I'm Dominican" from the Scrubs TV Musical)
"I've had it up to here, so let me make it very clear,
Because I swear I'll never clue you in again.
Every time that you profess that I am Benedictine--"
"Yes?"
"For the last time, Kim, I'm Dominican!"
Read more.
The Course Registration Song
(to the tune of "The Chipmunk Song")
Registration time is near:
Time for stress yet time for cheer.
Can't believe Fall's almost done.
Five terms still after this one.
What to plan for Jan and spring?
Wish I could take everything!
Course list is now up to read...
Watch us cause a stampede!
Read more.
Luau Luau
(to the tune of "Louie Louie")
I said Luau Luau, oh oh, I said we gotta go.
Ah yeah-yeah yeah-yeah-yeah!
Luau Luau, oh baby,
I said we gotta go.
My Green Villa friends, they wait for me.
It's quite a trip through all the trees.
The squirrels that try to stare me down
Can't stop me when I'm Luau-bound!
Read more.
Study and Pay (Be Matriculated)
(to the tune of "Come Out and Play (Keep 'Em Separated)" by The Offspring)
You gotta be matriculated.
Economy is crashin'?
Save on residence fees:
The kids who camp out overnight in the classroom
Get diplomas with the greatest of ease.
The staff state their own school rationale -
That if they catch you skippin' then it's all over, pal.
Paid your tuition and you won't get it back.
They're gonna cash it in, cash it in, cash it in, cash it in...
Read more.
Hey There Corinthians
(to the tune of "Hey There Delilah" by Plain White T's)
Hey there Corinthians,
What's it like in Corinth city?
I'm two hundred miles away,
And yes, it really is a pity,
But it's true:
Nobody needs help quite like you.
Advice is due.
Hey there Corinthians,
Don't you worry about the distance.
I've sent Timothy to see you;
He'll arrive and you can't miss 'm.
By the way,
What's this about idol feast days?
That's not OK.
Read more.
Eight Days A Week
(parody of the song of the same title by the Beatles)
Ooh I need some tea, babe,
And some cookies too.
Stock them in my room, babe,
'Cause I've got lots to do...
"Read me, write me, read me, write me!"
I ain't got nothin' but work, babe,
Eight days a week.
Read more.
What I Like About
parody of "What I Like About You" by the Romantics
Hey, uh huh huh
Hey, uh huh huh
What I like about Drew -- you treat me right
House me in C204, nice big windows make it so bright, yeah
Students who have welcomed me here
Tell me all the things that I wanna hear... 'bout free food
That's what I like about Drew
Read more.
