Study and Pay (Be Matriculated)

In honor of our matriculation service on Thursday, Sept. 9th, which you can see here.

With apologies to the Offspring... both the band and my own (hypothetical offspring), who may be scarred upon learning of their mother's parody-writing past.

Best read after this video:



You gotta be matriculated.

Economy is crashin'?
Save on residence fees:
The kids who camp out overnight in the classroom
Get diplomas with the greatest of ease.

The staff state their own school rationale -
That if they catch you skippin' then it's all over, pal.
Paid your tuition and you won't get it back.
They're gonna cash it in, cash it in, cash it in, cash it in...

Hey! Joined the university?
Sign the book!
You gotta be matriculated.

Hey! Now you're payin' mad money?
Sign the book!
You gotta be matriculated.

Hey, don't pay no mind.
Max out all your credits and you'll graduate on time.
Hey, study and pay.

By the time you find your passion
It's already too late.
Wrote your thesis on mating habits of quail;
You'd have rather studied Gregory the Great.

It goes down the same as the thousand before.
Now you're getting smarter;
That's what learning is for.
So for your next degree you've got it all figured out.
You're gonna write about Popes, write about Popes, write about...

Hey! Now you're payin' mad money?
Sign the book!
You gotta be matriculated.

Hey! Joined the university?
Sign the book!
You gotta be matriculated.

Hey, don't pay no mind.
Max out all your credits and you'll graduate on time.
Hey, study and pay.

It goes down the same as the thousand before.
Now you're getting smarter;
That's what learning is for.
So for your next degree you've got it all figured out.
You're gonna write about Popes, write about Popes, write about...

Hey! Joined the university?
Sign the book!
You gotta be matriculated.

Hey! Now you're payin' mad money?
Sign the book!
You gotta be matriculated.

Hey, don't pay no mind.
Max out all your credits and you'll graduate on time.
Hey, study and pay.