I'm Dominican (The Thomas Aquinas Tango)

Apparently the Creativity Monster took hold of me during my church history studies this week, and this is the result.

I'm sorry that the Serious Posts thing didn't last extraordinarily long, but I hope you can forgive me since, really, this song from the "Scrubs" musical (the only episode of the show I've seen - thank you, YouTube and Curtis) is entirely wonderful on its own and worth every moment of allegedly wasted time.

Besides, for those of you studying Thomas Aquinas, the parody will be an upbeat review. Blame it on my high school science teachers who made up songs as teaching tools.

Now, imagine, if you will, Thomas Aquinas and I in an intense tango sequence. He's already dead, of course, but sort of alive in a studying-church-history kind of way. See, look how lively he is just thinking about dancing with me:



And in this case, pronounce "Augustine" as the British Au-GUS-tin, even though this usually doesn't matter because, as the prof says, he is sooo dead!

Lyrics below best read after this video:



"I'm Dominican"
Or, The Thomas Aquinas Tango

"I've had it up to here, so let me make it very clear,
Because I swear I'll never clue you in again.
Every time that you profess that I am Benedictine--"

"Yes?"

"For the last time, Kim, I'm Dominican!"

"Don't make a big to-do. I was simply testing you."

"Then why'd you say my accent sounds 'Cistercian'?"

"Tom, you know I know the truth."

"Well, I need a little proof.
So list all you've learnt about me in that class again."

"Uh. Let's see.
Your name is Thomas, 'last name' Aquinas.
You're a priest, a patron saint and - wait, I've got it - Franciscan..."

"Kim!"

"Ignatian...? Well, you must admit, you monks sure have a lot of sects."

"Tell me, what's my sainthood fame?"

"OK, I'm tired of this game.
Let's forget it. I give up. I guess you win again!
But it's not just me who gets mixed up
By all this strange monastic stuff."

"Sorry, even I know, he's Dominican."

"Did I die in Fossanova or in Michigan?
How long before I lived did Jesus fish for men?
Were my writings e'er inspired by Augustine?
Tell me, am I Benedictine or Dominican?"

"The thing is, students know dumb facts,
Like your birth just East-Southeast of Rome:
Year twelve twenty-five.
And that is why our brains are maxed,
And there's no room for things like doctrine or theology."

"Well, thank you for that glimpse into the minds of seminarians."

"Let's talk about your life and how you first became Dominican."

"Have you read some of my work?"

"Yeah, it made me go berserk...
But I liked the part 'bout proving God's existence."

"God's experienced like heat,
Not just wafers that you eat."

"I guess warmth would make sense to Dominicans.
...And Franciscans."

"Kim!"

"But you're Dominican!"