Monday, September 10, 2012

If You Wanna Get Your M.Div (Song for Kirk)

A parody based on Wannabe by the Spice Girls

Dedicated to Kirk, who planted the idea in my head (and who recently celebrated a birthday - happy belated birthday, Kirk!)




Yo, I'll tell you about Kant, if you really, really want
Yeah, tell me about Kant, that's really what I want
I'll tell you about Kant, if you really, really want
Yeah, tell me about Kant, that's really what I want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna Div-a-Div ah

If you want a future about the past
If you want Divinity, better study fast
Now don't go wasting your precious time
Stop procrastinating, make your next outline

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna Div-a-Div ah
If you wanna get your M.Div, you gotta get to the end
(Gotta get to the end)
School can last forever, research never ends
If you wanna get your M.Div, count to 84
That's how many credits will get you out the door

Oh, what do you think about that
Holy Communion meal?
When they lift the bread up is Christ Jesus real?
(Is he for real?)
It's not that I think
That it's absurd
Transubstantiation's just too big a word

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna Div-a-Div ah

If you wanna get your M.Div, you gotta get to the end
(Gotta get to the end)
School can last forever, research never ends
If you wanna get your M.Div, count to 84
(To 84)
That's how many credits will get you out the door

So, Worship, Ethics, Theology
You wanna feel naïve? Take two terms of History
Read the Word in Bib Lit, and if your schedule fits,
Then take Greek like a geek and get your Logos on
Peace and Justice don't come for free, there's tuition fee
And by year three, ha you'll see

Cram for your exams and turn up all your jams
Cram for your exams and turn up all your jams

If you wanna get your M.Div, you gotta get to the end
(Gotta get to the end)
School can last forever, research never ends
If you wanna get your M.Div, count to 84
(To 84)
That's how many credits will get you out the door

If you wanna get your M.Div
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta
Cram, cram, cram, cram
(School can last forever)

Cram for your exams and turn up all your jams
Cram for your exams and turn up all your jams
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Cram for your exams and turn up all your jams
Cram for your exams and Div-a-Div ah
If you wanna get your M.Div

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